


Coming Home

by MothMeetsFlame



Series: Coming Home [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, College Student Dean, Developing Relationship, Implied/Referenced Incest, Little Brother Castiel, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, Pining, Prequel, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 13:15:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4608147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MothMeetsFlame/pseuds/MothMeetsFlame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They always said actions spoke louder than words. It was about time to see if the phrase held true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dean

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Midnight_Dusk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_Dusk/gifts).



> Thanks to the wonderful Midnight_Dusk, I was able to compile a nice little series out of a few stray fics I had laying around. They all line up quite nicely, if I do say so myself. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

_“I am sorry, Dean.”_

“Thanks, Cas. I just don’t understand why she’d do that, you know?” Dean threw himself back on his futon and sighed loudly into his phone. Cas was the one person he could count on to make him feel better at a time like this.

_“Unfortunately, neither do I. You’re a good person.”_

Dean sighed again. It was the same speech that Sam had tried giving him. He was a good person, blah blah. Just needed to keep his head up, blah. Millions of other girls who’d see him for blah, and blah blah blah. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I get it.” He’d been hoping for more from Cas for some reason. He didn’t know why.

 _“I don’t think you do,”_ Cas corrected.

Dean’s brow creased in confusion as he listened to his little brother over the phone.

 _“You are loyal,”_ Cas said. _“And kind. Selflessness comes quick to you. I would even go as far as to say martyr, except that with the term comes the implication that you expect something in return for your deeds. You are someone who gives himself wholly to another person, someone who relies on them, while letting them know that they can rely on you too. That is a trust that is rare in a person, and it is not so hard to believe that others do not take these qualities as seriously as you do._

_“Trust is important to you. As are loyalty and inner strength and fidelity and honesty and a myriad of other qualities that you look for in others because they are the same standards that you hold yourself to, both in relationships and in real life. So, when I say that you are a good person, Dean, I do so knowing that it is a rare quality to see in a person. There are not many others who will be good enough for you in my eyes. That a single woman has you so bothered is surprising considering that you were aware of her mistrust before you were even dating.”_

Dean was shocked into silence. It was one thing to feel something, quite another to hear it all laid out like that, especially by one’s twelve year old little brother. Was that really how Cas saw him? He wasn’t selfless, not at all. He just… liked to help. And who _didn’t_ think trust and honesty were important?

 _Erin_ , his mind whispered to him. _Dana, Adi, Harper, Joan._

Dean chuckled once, more of a breathless scoff than anything. His brother was right. There weren’t really many people who understood the importance of… well… _honor_.

_“Dean? Are you still on the line?”_

“Yeah, Cas,” Dean whispered. “Just… You too, man.”

_“I don’t understand.”_

Dean cleared his throat. “You said that there weren’t a lot of people who were like that. You know, honest and trustworthy and stuff. And I just… You’re like that too. I trust you, Cas. You’re a good person.”

Silence met his response.

Dean sighed.

“Cas?”

“ _How did you do on your final exams?_ ”

Despite the obvious deflection, Dean grinned.

“Straight A’s.”

_“Congratulations. Have you told Sam?”_

“Yep. Told me it was about time I pulled my head outta my ass and studied.”

Castiel laughed on the other end of the line. It had been years since he’d heard Cas laugh like that. His brother had always been strange, never understanding even the simplest of references. Dean couldn’t help but smile in return.

 _“I would have to agree,”_ Cas said amusedly.

“I’ll have you know that it is physically impossible to fit my head up my ass.”

_“Is it because of the stick already wedged in there?”_

Dean froze listening to Cas laugh. “Did… did you just make a joke, Cas?”

_“I did, Dean.”_

“You heard it here, folks!” Dean said overdramatically, waving his arms around his empty dorm room. “Castiel Winchester has made his first joke. How did it feel, Cas? Did it feel good?”

_“I believe ‘strange’ is an appropriate term for the feeling. I’m not so sure that I liked it.”_

Dean laughed. “I wouldn’t expect you to. How about we leave the joking to me, and you can be the cynically logical one?”

 _“You’re suggesting that we continue on as we have been?_ ” Cas asked with a hint of doubt.

“That’s the spirit, little brother!” Dean grinned at Cas’ exasperated sigh. “So how’re things at home?” he asked, changing the subject. “You takin’ care of Mom like you’re supposed to?”

Dean heard Cas scoff through the receiver. _“I am in the eighth grade, Dean. There is nothing about me that would constitute as ‘little’ anymore.”_

Dean chuckled at the response. It was just so… _Cas_.

_“And Mom is doing fine. Her and Dad are away for the weekend, so I’m staying with Sarah and her parents until they return.”_

“Ooooooh. Is she cute?”

There was a pause on the other line—too much silence for what was supposed to be a brotherly tease.

“Cas?”

_“I’m told she is quite attractive.”_

Dean rolled his eyes at the response. If he didn’t know his little brother, he would think he was a prude instead of the socially awkward kid he’d been looking out for since he was in high school.

“You sly dog.” Even though Cas couldn’t see, Dean winked at him. “Let me know how it goes. You know I call best man at your wedding, right?”

_“Dean.”_

“No, man. I’m serious. I’m gonna be standing right there next to you, tux and all.”

 _“Dean,”_ Cas practically growled.

“I was only joking.”

He was met with silence.

“I’m just messing with you, Cas.”

_“I realize that.”_

Dean let out a breath that he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.

_“Dean, um…”_

Dean waited intently. The ambient noise from the passing students made him sure that he’d missed whatever Cas had been trying to say, but then his little brother continued.

_“I have to go. You’re still visiting for break, correct?”_

“Yeah, Cas. And we’re taking a road trip, just like always.” The year before, the biggest ball of twine had been their goal. They arrived three days after they were supposed to because of two flat tires, a stolen wallet, and a torrential downpour that flooded the roads for a day and a half. The ball of twine wasn’t even that big. Dean smiled. “I’m thinking it’s Grand Canyon time.”

_“Sounds… fun. Goodbye, Dean.”_

The line went dead before he could get another word in.  


	2. Cas

They talked daily, he and Dean. They talked about school and friends and Dean’s girlfriends and the trip they were going to take when Dean came out for the summer.

Dean’s girlfriends.

There used to be a lot of them, when Cas was just a kid. He was four the first time he met one of them—black hair, blue eyes, tall and slim, smart and serious. Dean never brought her back, but from then on it was blonde hair and big brown eyes and dumber than a monkey in a box of animal crackers.

Despite the streak, Erin wasn’t anywhere near the bimbo Cas expected her to be. Pre-med, top of her class, “ _and smokin’ hot, Cas._ ”College seemed to have mellowed Dean out some because he partied less and studied more. He either stopped sleeping with random women or he stopped telling Cas about them. Cas was loath to admit the latter, but the majority of his mind seemed to almost dismiss that idea entirely. Dean seemed like a different person since he’d been away.

_“Well, kid,_ ” Dean said into the phone, voice just the slightest bit more jubilant than it had been moments ago. _“I fly in tomorrow. What do you say I hang around for a day or so, and then we take our trip?”_

“It sounds like a plan,” Cas said, trying out the expression he’d heard Sam use just the other day when he’d called. The words fell uneasily from his tongue, and he decided not to use them again if he could help it.

_“You can bring Sarah too if you want…_ ”

Cas groaned. There was only so much teasing he could take before it got to him. “Sarah is what you might call ‘pushy.’ I doubt that I could get her to keep off of me long enough to get her in the car, let alone bring her with us to the Grand Canyon.”

He could hear Dean’s chuckle on the other line. _“Sounds like a winner, kid. Get out there and live a little. Girls love a guy with brains. Haven’t you heard? ‘Nerd’ is in right now.”_

“Believe me. I’m well aware of this fact. Not a single female in my class has refrained from approaching me with an invitation to some social event or another, most with poorly disguised attempts at flirtation.”

_“Sounds a little stuck up, Cas. Why don’t you give the ladies a break?”_

Cas replied angrily, “I have already informed them that I am not interested in the female anatomy, Dean, yet they continue to approach me. It’s not my fault that they’re unable to comprehend.”

The silence rang long enough that Cas was sure he had finally angered Dean enough that the man had hung up.

_“’Not interested in the female anatomy?’”_

Cas’ eyes went wide when he realized what he’d just done. “I –I mean… uh. I… I…”

_“Hey, settle down, Cas. It’s okay.”_ Dean chuckled nervously, and Castiel could only hold onto the lifeline Dean had given him by not hanging up. _“You don’t like girls. That’s fine. Do you… do you like, you know, guys?”_

“I…”

_“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I mean, you don’t have to know yet if you’re still figuring stuff out.”_

Cas wasn’t figuring stuff out. He’d known exactly what he wanted since he’d discovered his penis. He wasn’t confused in the least about what he wanted. Telling Dean, though…

“I am saving myself for the right person, though I don’t think it matters whether my partner is a male or female,” Cas began. It was the truth, but not entirely. “I want to be with someone for them, not their body. Just as I am not my own body. Despite my anatomy, I consider myself genderless.”

Cas waited, lip caught between his teeth, the static of the receiver getting louder with every passing second.

_“So… do you… have a problem with certain pronouns? I know someone who’s gender neutral, so it wouldn’t really be a problem if, you know, you wanted me to do something like that. It’ll probably take a little bit to get used to it because I’m just not—“_

“Dean,” Cas cut him off, smiling a little. “Don’t change my pronouns.”

Dean’s chuckle was contagious. _“Okay, little brother. So… who’s the lucky guy you have your eye on?”_

“What?”

_“Don’t fool me. No one ‘saves themselves’ unless they have their eyes on someone in particular. Either that or they’re religious or something. And you and I know that’s not the case here. It’s not a girl or else you wouldn’t have accidentally come out to me. So who’s the lucky guy?”_

His eyes went wide and his chest felt tight, like there suddenly wasn’t enough air in the room for him to survive. Cas sat on the edge of his bed. His head swam with thoughts of coming clean to Dean, telling him everything, but all that did was make his heart pound harder.

_“Cas?”_

“I have to go, Dean,” Cas choked out. His voice sounded far away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

_“Cas, wait—“_

Cas hung up his phone and tossed it aside.

He automatically looked over at the drawer that held his supplies, everything he’d need for when Dean came home.

Dean wanted to know, and he wanted Cas to tell him.

Castiel sighed.

They always said actions spoke louder than words. It was about time to see if the phrase held true.


End file.
